Biggie, Seriously?

I swear, my cat has some sort of mental connection to me, because every time, or nearly every damn time I open one of the documents to my novel to start working on it, Biggie has to make a pain in the ass of himself. As of typing this, he is sitting on my lap content, but usually he can't just sit on my lap like a good kitty, he has to pull on the zippers of my jacket, he has to get up and stand in-between me and the computer, making sure his fluff tail is in my face, rub his face on the corner of my desk and give it a bite for good measure. If I don't allow him on my lap, he tries to get on my desk where he and the other cats aren't allowed, or bite my foot or chew on my peace lily or do something else naughty just for the attention. It isn't that the cat never gets attention, he gets plenty of it. He just decides the best time to do it is when I'm trying to work, or trying to sleep.

He's cute, he's fluffy, and he has no shame exposing his fluff to the world.

Biggie is a bit of a celebrity, sort of. Anyone that knows my boyfriend and I knows Biggie, he's the cute fluff ball that as much as we try to give him away (out of jest, but at times seriously) no one will take him. He's naughty. Very naughty. He gets along with other cats as long as they're female. He and our other cat (out of four in the house), Missy, seem to be a couple. They always are playing and licking each other and sometimes when we have company over Biggie thinks of it as a good time to "get his groove on" with Missy. The cat is good for puking up cat food and hairballs, and the utility room seems to be his toilet. Litter box? What's that? That is the main reason why no one will take him, though he will use one if he is the only cat to use it, and if it's kept immaculate. And one reason I could never give him away; as much as I despise the daily cleaning, I know no one else would put up with a cat that's too good to use a litter box. Despite his litter box aversion, I couldn't give my fluff away, I've had him since he was a kitten, nearly seven years ago.

Regardless of being a little shit that shits and pees on the tile floor of the utility room (the dog has the carpet in the dining room taken care of—ugh, pets!), we keep him around for entertainment purposes. Biggie does things that make you laugh and he has some of the best facial expressions of any cat I've known. He's been given many nicknames, from Fluff, to Big Whisk, to Mr. Fluffypants, from Shit Head to F-ing Cat! Biggie is fond of showing affection on his terms, like most cats, and he often will greet you with a head bunt. One of his favorite places to sleep is in the closet, and when I don't know he's in there and I shut the closet doors, I'll hear this sad, sad call from somewhere until I realize where he is and set him free. Sometimes when he meows it sounds like he's saying "mom", so I call back to him saying, "Yes son?", and he comes up to me meowing and wanting to be picked up. That's another nickname he's come to be called, Son. His original name is Mr. Whiskers, but over time we've just come to call him Biggie.

Aww, Biggie baby picture.